Referential image. Adults should be aware of the effect that asking a boyfriend or girlfriend can have on a child. Photo: Pixabay

Conversation. Mireia Orgilés and Jose Espada *

When leaving College A Mom Nicholas asks, 4 years old, if he has GirlfriendThe Little boy He looks at his father strangely and says:PotatoesDo we have girlfriends? “, Someone who asks if they have the latest model of kitchen robot in their house.

One on a children’s birthday Father She approached 7-year-old Olivia and asked who her boyfriend was. The girl immediately bowed her head and shyly walked away from the group of children she was playing with. The next day College Avoid being with them, because it gives you Shame Anyone who thinks that one of her friends is her boyfriend.

Both Situation They will definitely work for us Relatives, Since it is common for adults to ask children such questions. Although obviously they just want to observe what it is Feedback Child, this one Question Apparently that could have been innocent Effect By the way A little I know Related With the rest.

The concept of friendship between children

The Interaction Form a very powerful way with colleagues Learning. The idea Friendship Evolves through evolutionary stages and thus differs Function Of Age Of Little boy. Robert Selman, Professor Harvard UniversityRecommended one Theory Most familiar about The evolution of friendship.

When this expert advises preschoolers They maintain an egotistical view of friendship and consider friends with whom they share. Games And the same physical space, for children School stage Sharing choices become important and Collaboration. In Adolescence More valuable andl Mutual support.

Relationships with peers contribute to this Mental and social developmentPromotion Feelings Belong to the team. In Childhood Normal Curiosity By one’s own body and by the body of others, when preteen Is frequent Behavior Of Sexual exploration.

The nature of relationships with peers changes AdolescenceWith growth Sexual interest. Not until then Friendly relationships develop On one side The bond of emotion Older

How adults are affected

I have had a choice since childhood Be related With the same pair Gender Which is up to maintenance Adolescence. While it is common for children to prefer to play with their peers, this isolation affects the way they relate to others.

Adults, including our comments, approve or disapprove Relationships The kids that keep up with their peers, condition them. We influence, perhaps not foolishly and maliciously, the way we do Kids And Girls relationship Among them.

Although there is a choice in every document Friendship Of the same sex, from Early age The Children are not responsible for anything but friendship They have relationships with others. In fact, a 4-year-old can hardly explain what a boyfriend or girlfriend is; Either way you can assimilate it Best friend. When a Adult boyfriend or girlfriend word coin Speaking of a good friend of his son, Causes confusion in the babyWho is learning to recognize him at a young age Emotions And others who.

Can’t we be friends?

Ask kids if they have boyfriends or girlfriends It can affect Upstairs Form Which Relate to their friends. Through these questions we transmit the idea that there can be no friendship between a boy and a girl, but that the relationship becomes something else when you play with the other sex. We encourage So only those related to you Same sexTo mark The difference Between the two.

In addition, they We encourage friends of the opposite sex to avoid it For Avoid funny comments From the rest of the group. Innocent asks who is your girlfriend? It can generate Rejection To an 8-year-old boy friend with whom he shares games, since Don’t want to be single By a stay group Relationships Its intimate Friendship Which behavior is usually blamed Kids Them EmbarrassHow to take one Kiss Or possession Hand.

By asking kids if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, we warn them that there is a different way of behaving depending on who they are with, so Let’s change fuel The way you relate to your friends.

Unnecessary hypersexualization

When we raise kids She likes no boy Is Who is his girlfriendWe make it normal for them to have close friends at their age Adults, Promoting childhood hypersexualization. We reject behavior That They are not their own Of Childhood, Approve them with our comments. While this is not our intention, we encourage children to adopt behaviors that adults do not adapt to and that do not correspond to their developmental stage.

In conclusion, we need adults Drops Relationships Friendship Among children, since social support has been identified as the strongest defensive factor Mental well-being.

Still, Behavior explanation Social KidsSuch as sharing time and games, such as relationships Busy Makes a difference between them, confuses them in learning emotions and can To excite A Isolation Precisely from friends with whom they share more interests and preferences.

* This article has been published in Conversation and is reproduced here under a Creative Commons license. Click here Read the original version.

* Mireia Orgilés is a professor and specialist in child psychiatry, and José Espada is a professor of psychology. ABoth work at Miguel Hernandez University.




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